Honoring our Fallen Heroes
This column is brought to you by WAEPA, the life insurance choice of over 46,000 Feds and their families.
The prompt for this round of the FEDforum is: What is the issue most important to your organization? This week, hear from the Survivors of Blue Suicide (SBS).
According to Survivors of Suicide Loss Task Force, when someone takes their own life, “It is estimated over 115 people are impacted, with 1 in 5 reporting this experience had a devasting impact or caused a major life interruption.” The impact will be felt throughout the entire agency, community, and the family. For these reasons, having an established policy on navigating the aftermath of a suicide is essential. Agencies often struggle with supporting the families and co-workers after suffering a suicide.
Communication is vital after an officer dies by suicide, both department-wide and with the family. Communication starts with notifying the family. When making notifications, make in person contact with not only the spouse but the parents as well. Do not put the onus of notifying the parents on the spouse. Once notifications are made, assign liaison officers to the spouse, parents, and siblings. Family dynamics often play a role in communications amongst family members. By assigning multiple liaisons to various family members, it helps reduce issues within the family. It also takes the responsibility off the surviving spouse.
When managing the aftermath, one of the most common questions is what honors should be provided to the family and officer regarding the funeral. Most agencies understand or know where to obtain information when they suffer a line of duty death. This is not the case for officer suicides. Agency responses vary significantly, from no agency involvement to a line of duty death funeral. Survivors are left wondering and confused as to why their officer did not get the same recognition for their service to their community as the officers who are identified as having died in the line of duty. They are perplexed because their officer missed holidays, family events, vacations, and birthdays. The family sacrificed for the job because they are part of the blue family. Some of these families lived with the sleepless nights, the change of demeanor, and the absenteeism which often can be contributed to the traumas of the profession.
All to often society believes funerals are for those who died, but in reality, the funeral is for those left behind. Providing an honorable funeral for an officer who dies by suicide does not glorify the way the officer died, but rather celebrates the life they lived. An honorable funeral sends the message to the family that their officer will not be forgotten and they are still part of the blue family. The family will forever be impacted by the loss of their officer; however, they will forever be grateful to the agency that recognizes their sacrifice and honors their officer. Surviving families want their officer remembered and honored for how they lived and not how they died.
After the funeral law enforcement suicide survivors often feel disconnected from the agency. The stigma attached to suicide contributes to this disconnect. Leaders and co-workers at times struggle with what to say to the surviving family members. Simply remember all the family wants is to know that neither they nor their officer will be forgotten. Remember the special occasions, birthdays, graduations, weddings and the officers end of watch and invite them to agency special events. Stop by their house and say hello. These little gestures remind them they will always be a part of the blue family.
In the words of surviving spouse, Teresa Tate, “The actions and reactions of everyone from the police chief down to the patrol officer will be remembered forever by a survivor.”
This column from Survivors of Blue Suicide (SBS) is part of the FEDforum, an initiative to unite voices across the federal community. The FEDforum is a space for federal employee groups to share their organizations’ initiatives and activities with the FEDagent audience.
Be sure to subscribe to FEDagent so you never miss an update!
Coverage Today that will Protect Your Tomorrow. Life Insurance coverage is important to have while building your future. Establish your WAEPA policy today and carry it through retirement. Life Insurance for Feds, by Feds. Learn more at waepa.org.